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Guilt to Last

Your heart is like your best friend in junior high; if it tells you you’re doing the right thing, it could easily be a lie told in a storm of hormones, emotions, and/or stupidity. When you’re angry or...

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Critic Cynic

Criticism, like network sitcoms, gas station food, and internet trolls, requires careful consideration before you decide whether it’s worth taking to heart/anymore of your time. Unfortunately, many...

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Over The Influence

While we all work for a boss in one way or another, it’s safer to do so strictly for the paycheck, instead of the emotional reward of approval. Otherwise, caring too much about whether the boss...

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Pressure Hooker

No one controls the nature of their sexual needs, including their strength, timing, and target, but we all have reason to control what we do with them. That’s why “I couldn’t help it” is never a...

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Magical Drinking

When it comes to drinking, or really any addiction, it’s hard to stop without a “good reason,” especially if you think there’s a better reason not to quit. Then there’s the expectation that, if you...

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Man of Feel

While many have argued that romantic feelings can alter a person’s ability to reason, they also seem alter one’s vision, either giving one the ability to see faults in their partner and relationship...

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Assessment, Development

While “crisis management” is fairly well-known (at least if you’re Paula Deen), we see our field as pre-crisis management, because, more often than not, it’s easier to predict a personal disaster than...

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The End Is Why?

Love and hate aren’t opposites, they’re siblings, which is why there’s a level of hatred you can only feel for someone you’re involved with, and at your rage-iest moments, it’s often hard to figure out...

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Control Peak

If you’ve ever driven in bad weather and started to lose control of your car, you know that your instincts, for better or worse, are to panic and let the wheel spin where it may or grip the wheel with...

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Hope Springs Infernal

The phrase, “when the going gets tough, the tough get going,” is a bit unclear; after all, in a tough situation, you can either buckle down and get more focused or just give up and get going outta...

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Anti-Explanation League

Explanations, like apologies and “I love you’s, are often forced, overly weighted, and more trouble than they’re worth. No matter how problematic, these verbal tokens are always in demand, which is why...

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Poise To The World

Self-confidence, like humility, is least often felt by those who deserve it most—call it the Trump theory of confidence conservation, with the baselessly-smug balancing out the needlessly...

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Caring is Wearing

When someone attacks you because they’re hurt, you have no choice but to enter an emotional battle dome. If you care too much, you’ll feel cornered, attack them back, and you’re an asshole for being...

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Justify My Grudge

In family disputes, the nuclear option isn’t sending a child to his room or your spouse to the sofa, it’s breaking a tense silence and dropping an angry “I told you so.” How four little words can...

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Wedlockdown

Almost everyone—man, woman, and certainly fundamentalist Mormon—regards marriage as a happy ending and valuable goal in itself. It’s no wonder then that we’re reluctant to ask ourselves whether...

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Shame and Misfortune

Mental illness has many traits that physical illnesses don’t, and sadly, one of those is shame; that’s why, when dealing with mental illness, in yourself or others, it’s easy to pay more attention to...

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Family Mood

Dealing with a loved one who is fucking up his life or with his family who are the captive victims of his behavior is a lot like being held hostage and being your own hostage negotiator; it’s hard not...

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Therapy, You and Me

Whether you believe in a particular psychotherapy or find the very prospect of head-shrinkery scary, don’t let the emotions that draw you towards or away from the therapist’s couch drive your treatment...

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Parental Potential

As any parent or even casual viewer of Teen Mom can tell you, babies are very demanding creatures, and with everything they need from parents, it’s sometimes hard for parents to figure out what they...

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Couples, Retreat!

When anger is persistent in a relationship, it’s often impossible to clear the air and end hostilities, no matter how strong either party’s diplomatic skills are. Trying to air underlying grievances...

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