Severe Discussion
Communication is often seen as the best diplomatic tool in domestic conflict, but if your emotional battlefield is riddled with verbal landmines, then trying to talk things out may just push the battle...
View ArticleCrime of Need
Making an emotional argument might convince other people that you care a lot about your cause, but it often won’t do very much to actually help you get what you’re arguing for. This is especially true...
View ArticleDenial By Fire
A doctor’s diagnosis may make a serious illness official, but talking about it with professionals and people you trust is what makes it real. That’s why admitting you’re seriously sick can be so hard;...
View ArticleGet Vent
As with nuclear waste, old hard drives and used take-out containers, there’s no clear way to dispose of unpleasant thoughts; some people feel like nasty feelings should be buried and ignored, and...
View ArticleHoping Mechanism
The human mind is capable of many complex, inscrutable functions, but when it comes to hopeless situations, they’re processed by a part of our brains that hasn’t evolved since we had tails. That’s why,...
View ArticlePrediction Notice
When you’re about to knowingly get involved in an unpleasant situation—job evaluation meeting, lunch with in-laws, childbirth, etc.—it’s natural to mentally prepare yourself in order to make the...
View ArticleFinal Estimation
Unless you’re a robot, lobotomized, or the anti-cable news pundit, it’s impossible to assess a situation without some level of inherent, personal bias. It’s especially difficult if you’re assessing...
View ArticleShame and Fortune
Like dental surgery, high school, and Bar Mitzvahs, humiliation can be pretty painful, but it’s not always a good thing to avoid. Sure, it sometimes makes you reactive to people and values that don’t...
View ArticleFoe Future
When it comes to navigating through problems in a relationship, you can’t always trust your ability to recognize the difference between major issues that can be worked through and those which mark the...
View ArticleProof of Strife
Strong feelings, like sports victories and financial losses, often seem inherently important and noteworthy, but, in reality, they mean very little taken out of context. Sometimes you feel something...
View ArticleDestruction Manual
If there was an ancient koan about self-destructive people, it would probably question whether the constant screw-ups are caused by making crazy decisions, or failing to make good ones (and maybe a...
View ArticleFake Yourself Comfortable
We’ve said many times that it rarely feels right to do the right thing, and vice versa; that’s why making a smart commitment can feel horrifying while using heroin can feel super terrific. So when you...
View ArticleDisgrace Worker
Humiliation may cut like a knife, but it’s more like a double-edged sword when it comes to problem solving. Sometimes it warns you that you’re doing something wrong when you’d be otherwise oblivious,...
View ArticleStress Direct
We often say that being anxious has its benefits; after all, if you didn’t have nervous genes, your ancestors wouldn’t have been on edge enough to notice that angry mammoth by the watering hole and you...
View ArticleBirth of a Notion
Traditionally speaking, young people have always been impulsive by nature, but only recently have they given their philosophies acronyms, e.g., YOLO, FOMO, etc. (If you’re over fifty, these mean “You...
View ArticleKinsight
Between for-profit education and for-bullshit accreditation, it’s harder than ever to figure out who’s actually knowledgeable and who just has access to a printer. It’s just as hard to figure out your...
View ArticleBorder of Protection
Life is unavoidably dangerous, whether you’re working, dating, or going to a dog show. Instead of getting patriotic and building up your personal arsenal, learn to protect yourself with your mental...
View ArticlePity Limits
For most people, or at least those that aren’t evil, cyborgs, and/or hardcore Libertarians, it’s instinctive to want to help someone close to us when they’re down on themselves and their lives....
View ArticleRestraining Day
The issue of control—what you’re responsible for controlling (not much), whether it’s possible (not often), and what happens when you try (not good)—is a frequent topic around here. Our frequent...
View ArticleFools of Engagement
Unless you’re a professional football player, litigator, or interventionist (or an amateur Asshole), you probably don’t enjoy confrontation. That’s usually a good thing, since there’s a reason that...
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